I grew up listening to schmaltz songs about spurned love and mistresses. “La otra” (mujer/woman), the third wheel always having it better. Women’s stuff I thought from my queer but ultimately machista perspective.

I wished I was the mistress of a dark handsome slightly violent exotic land man.

In an open relationship, queer or not, all parties might stand to win. However, civil union, marriage or simply playing domestic household and nuclear family makes “la otra” strangely similar to those mistresses in old cliche Latino boleros. The other guy(s) doesn’t have to give it emotionally, financially and professionally. The other gets to explore kink or emotional bliss and not cook dinner, change diapers, pay half of the bills and be a caregiver.

It must be nice to be you honey!!

I prefer that the open relationship is just hooking up, getting off and fast and furious. Unless the pendulum swings all the way to the polyamory and it’s fucking complicated to all 3 o 4 or 5 involved. Who has time to sustain this shit!

Limited opening in a relationship seems to me, today, pragmatic, efficient and safe–like having a dishwasher!!