THREE-WAY THE DOC!

Sooner or later you three-way a doctor. Sometimes one will do a home visit, whacked out on his own medicine and good times are had by all. But, most of the time, as a serodicordant or seropositive couple, you go to see one together, or most often, separately. The doc can become the third in phantom ways. If you see a physician like me, only 4 or 5 times a year, you will encounter a person who has some impact in your sex life and your relationship (in the early 1990s I saw my faithful Dr. Bruce Douglas three times a week, on a good week). My current physician rarely changes demeanor. He is my age. He most often sits behind the desk, which is where most docs sit these days. There is little touching and a full body check (some touching) one a year; it reminds me of other relationships I have had.

When I tell him I smoke weed, he disapproves and refuses to sign the form for medical marihuana. After 30 years of smoking weed, my choice is to enjoy my relaxed evenings not thinking about work, my food and my sex with the aid of weed. When I tell my doc to do a full battery of tests including syphilis and other STIs he asks whether I am still married. Yes, but we have an open relationship. Silence follows that fact. I doubt doctors gay and otherwise get into a great deal of detail about open relationships, what kind, how often and other details that have impact on three or more persons’ health. It might be the way the appointment is billed; it might be the doc’s feeling of helplessness to really do much for patients other than ordering tests and interpreting numbers during the medical visit, who knows.

The fact is that if you are in an open relationship or a cute pig slut, you got to figure out a great of the medicine and wellness and sexual health on your own. Want to chat with your anal cancer specialist or your liver doc about drugs and sex, you might be given specific information but don’t try to paint a life picture, most times you will not be encouraged. The three-way with doctors and specialists is the least rewarding of all my three ways in our open relationship.